Fark Photoshop - 9/29

Theme - Bob Dylan

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If Mikey jumped off a bridge....

So here are my photoshops. I dunno if I'll keep putting them up or not, but hey, what the hell, right?

9/23 - Theme: Product endorsements.



Noriega was known affectionately by his subjects as Pineapple Face before he was overthrown and jailed in Miami. I'm sure Dole has been beating down his door to make this ad happen ever since.


9/22 - The traditional "Miss America screaming" photoshop.

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9/21 - Hot Air Balloons.

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Reading is FUNdamental

My profile is the only on on this whole Blogger thing that has "Tripping the light fantastic" as an interest. That's a little disappointing. Several people had "Wesley Willis" in their music section. Several people seem to enjoy the book Imzadi, slightly fewer liked Imzadi Forever, and once again, I was alone with both This Must Be The Place and Imzadi II.

I'll start with the easy one. This Must Be The Place is a biography of one of the greatest bands of all times -- Talking Heads. I read it cover to cover last year when I was forced to sit in a data center all day long, doing approximately 20 minutes worth of work spread out over the course of 8 hours. It was the first book I'd actually read in a few years, and one of the few that I've actually finished in my entire life. I never was big on the reading. It's a good book though, and if you're into the 'Heads or eating glass, I highly recommend it.

Imzadi is the touching tale of the love between William T. Riker and Diana Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation. It has something to do with the two of them pining over each other, but somehow never actually ending up together. Imzadi Forever is a continuation of the same story, again, no actual togetherness. Imzadi II is about the sordid love triangle between Troi, Riker, and Worf. I'm sure someone gets together in that one someplace, and Worf kills Riker at the end and then eats his brain. Imzadi II is the clear winner of the three, which is why I'm a little curious I'm the only person on the internet who seemed to like it.

Anyway, I guess I have weird taste in books. Or, maybe that whole thing was a joke and I haven't actually read ANY of the Imzadi series. (or any other Star Trek novel, for that matter) Either way, if Imzadi II doesn't end with Worf cracking open Riker's skull and feasting on the goo inside, it should. He should be doing it while wearing a 70's era California Highway Patrol uniform, too. Man, that'd be sweet. He could wash it down with a peptide cake. With mint frosting.

I'm not sure what about all this I find the most perplexing.... The fact that I'm the only person to put Imzadi II into my profile, the fact that I'm such a dork I thought it would be funny to put Star Trek romance novels in my profile, or the fact that the Imzadi series actually contains THREE books. Apparently, I'm not the only person with a little too much free time on his hands.

Also, the Blogger Spell Checker doesn't seem to recognize the word "Blogger." What's that about?

Core Competencies

Ok, I just realized that my most recent post (from approximately 2 minutes ago) could very easily be regarded as both "mindless bullshit" and "moronic whining." Bear with me, people...I'm still getting the hang of this thing.

I guess what I meant to say earlier is that this will not ever be the "I have no friends" or "I hate my life" or "I love the OC, please watch Nip/Tuck with me, mean people are teh suck" blog. I bitch about pretty much everything, but I don't consider it whining. Bitching about stupid, trivial things can be amusing. Bitching about how your best friend from high school didn't IM you the other night, and therefore must hate you is pathetic and annoying. It's a fine line, I guess.

I probably didn't need to explain that to anyone who actually knows me. Whatever. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about anyway.

It could conceivably drive everyone permanently deaf, if not stopped.

I have approximately 1.5 pairs of shoes that I wear on a regular basis that do NOT make noise when I walk. I say 1.5 because the pair I wear to work most often squeaks like mad whenever I walk through the lobby. The other two pairs squeak pretty much all the time, and I have one pair that makes no noise at all. Even my running shoes (though not worn often) make noise.

Did my parents not teach me how to walk correctly? Is God playing some mean joke on me, just for fun? Does DSW just sell noisy shoes? Seriously, what the hell?

Also, my shoes come untied a lot.

I hate shoes.

It's not me, it's you.

I'm still not totally convinced I should have a blog. But I've thought about it, and here's what I came up with:

An overwhelming majority of the blogs I've encountered are full of mindless bullshit and moronic whining. That's the main reason I've always thought that blogs suck. But it occurred to me that it's not necessarily the blog that sucks, or even the idea of the blog. It's the person writing it. For some reason, I never made that connection. It's not your blog that sucks -- it's you.

How that idea escaped me for so long is a mystery. Anyway, connecting the idea that people suck (something I've known for some time now) with the idea that people write blogs made me realize that I actually could write one. Of course, I've got to keep the bullshit and whining to a minimum, because I don't suck. Well, let me qualify that statement -- obviously, sucking is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you think I suck. Maybe you don't. Either way, you're here, reading this right now. I'm not sure what that says about either of us. But, if you think I suck, odds are you're no gem yourself.

My real intention with this blog is to augment my spotty (at best) memory. Maybe if I write things down, I'll remember that they happened. I know...I'm a genius.

I don't really have much else to say right now. Feel free to comment, read any updates I may make, never come back, etc. If no one but me ever reads this, it will have served its purpose.

THIS IS THE DAWNING OF A NEW AGE

I've always hated blogs, and I swore I'd never get one. Now Mikey's gone and done it, so I have to register so I can post comments on his. Crap.

We'll see if there's ever another post.