It could conceivably drive everyone permanently deaf, if not stopped.

I have approximately 1.5 pairs of shoes that I wear on a regular basis that do NOT make noise when I walk. I say 1.5 because the pair I wear to work most often squeaks like mad whenever I walk through the lobby. The other two pairs squeak pretty much all the time, and I have one pair that makes no noise at all. Even my running shoes (though not worn often) make noise.

Did my parents not teach me how to walk correctly? Is God playing some mean joke on me, just for fun? Does DSW just sell noisy shoes? Seriously, what the hell?

Also, my shoes come untied a lot.

I hate shoes.