They Stole My House

The best thing about going to Tech for a Thursday game is getting home on Saturday. Not only have I not worked for the past three days, but I don't have to work tomorrow either. And next week is only three days. Booya.

Butter, M-Pizzle and I shoved off from my house around 11 on Thursday morning. This was shortly after Butter gave his two-weeks to his current employer, then said he had the flu and was going home. He had a fever....and the only perscripton was a weekend of drinking and gay innuendo with two of the best 'gents ever to play the game.

After a rather unremarkable drive, we arrived at Chuck's around 3:00. We set up our base of operations for the next two days, then Chuck dropped us off downtown (in his minivan, which is clearly from the future). The original "plan" (if you can call it that) was for us to call Tommy on his cell phone, and meet up for drinking and fried fowl in the parking lot. By the time we got downtown, I had left at least 4 messages for Tommy. Things are looking grim.

We decided to walk over to Litton Reeves (from the 7-11 on Draper Road) because that's where Ben's parking space was last year for the games, so clearly that's where they must be. Buster and Mikey reminisced about days passed while we all lived on campus, while I did my best to find an alternate method of contacting Tom. I called pretty much anyone I could think of who might be able to get me a cell number for Ben. My mother, Tom's Mother, Justin Fabeny, Information. I even called Koon's Chevrolet, because that's where Ben's brother works. Of course, Ben's brother was at Tech, with Ben and Tom, and therefore impossible to reach.

We wandered aimlessly around Litton Reeves for a while, even finding a rather good "Tommy Trap" (guys throwing a football and listening to Metallica) but none of our friends. Buster alerted us to the fact that we had somehow managed to get all the way there WITHOUT any alcohol, and the prospects of us getting any in the parking lot were not good. We decided to walk BACK to the 7-11 where we started. If all else failed, we could sit in the street and drink, or just go to a bar.

We got all the way off Campus on Washington street. My phone rang. The name said "Tom." So, I answered with a resounding "TOMMY!!!" Looking back on it, I'm glad I didn't answer the phone by saying something like "Where the fuck have YOU been??" as it was Tom's MOTHER on the other end. She was able to give me several numbers for the Benone family, the first of which successfully put me in touch with Ben's mom...whom I've not spoken with in probably 8 years. Suprisingly enough, she remembered who i was and gave me Ben's number. I called him, and found out that he was about half a block from where we were standing. Which was at Chuck's car. Where we had started. So we walked two miles all over Tech without a drop of alcohol, all because Tommy's phone turned itself off.

As we finally arrived at our destination, Tommy was doing everything he could to keep from falling on the ground laughing while listening to my messages. They ranged in severity from "Hey, Tommy. We're in town. Give me a call." to "Tommy. It's John. Next time I see you, I'm going to fucking kill you." Tommy's a wise one, so he put beers in both my hands before I had a chance to secure them to his neck. Crisis averted.

We stood around out back (and on the roof of the shed) for a while and drank. There was an impressive pile of empty beers just hanging out in the yard, which was rather amusing. Eventually we headed for the game, where I was able to secure a ticket for the low-low price of twenty bucks. Mikey was kind enough to shelf half the cost himself, since Ben gave him an extra ticket. So I paid 10 bucks to get in. Fantastic.

We watched the Terps get whooped up on for the first half and decided to head out. It was starting to rain, and not many teams come back from a 48-3 deficit. We walked to PK's in hopes of Tijuana Toss, but settled for a pizza, a pitcher, and watching the second half indoors. 55-6 was the final. Go Hokies.

After drinking enough beer to feel like I was going to throw up from being so full, yet not quite enough to be all that drunk, we headed back to Chuck's, listened to some G&D and called it a night. After a four hour nap on the floor, I moved to Missy's (unoccupied) bed. It is much more comfortable than Chuck's floor. At some point during the night, Buster and Mike managed to switch couches. That was weird.

Day two of my most recent Tech adventure did not disappoint. It started off with the viewing of Star Trek: Nemesis, which I had not seen before. The movie was pretty much what I expected. Predictable story, poor acting, and plot holes the size of Canada. All in all, it was hilarious, and I hope to one day watch it again with Mikey and Ed. After the movie, we went to BW3's for wangs and pink-flavored water. Then it was back to Chuck's to say goodbye to him and Missy, since they were going home for break. They wouldn't have left if they knew what we did next.

The clear highlight of the weekend was the three solid commercial-free hours of Nickelodeon game shows we wasted our afternoon with. For now, I'll just say that we got to see Double Dare, Finders Keepers, Guts, some crap with a stone guy named Olmec and a lot of disappointed kids, and Figure it Out. Mike O'Malley was featured prominently. The whole thing was a pedophile's wet dream, involving slime, soy sauce, cooked pasta, toe-jam and spanning two decades. When I've had a little more time to digest it, I'll go ahead and write an entire post on the whole Nickelodeon game show phenomenon. The only thing that could have made it better was if we'd gotten to see Nick Arcade. But I'm not bitter, because if we hadn't keep forcing ourselves through 15 minute block after 15 minute block of horrible game shows with even more horribly dressed children I wouldn't have such an interesting story to tell now.

The rest of our time there was pretty textbook. I bought a sweatshirt, we went to the liquor store, Wal-Mart, and had dinner at Macado's. I got my ruffles/ranch dressing fix and had a pretty tasty sandwich. We went back to Chuck's, sat in front of the TV, and eventually went to bed. Got up this morning, watched a solid hour of coverage of the Pistons/Pacers debacle on ESPN, and drove home. Saw a pretty good accident about 40 feet behind us on 81, and did my good deed for the year by calling the cops.

We were all upset that the Bojangles at the Shell station on Route 11 is no more, so I couldn't get my chicken biscuit fix. Buster pointed out that the time we saved by not getting chicken biscuits probably kept us from being in the aforementioned accident on the interstate. I guess I can live with that.

As my life pretty much revolves around interesting and elusive fast food, Mikey had the brilliant moment of clarity only two days of heavy drinking can bring and suggested Taco Bell in Harrisonburg for lunch. Why? They still have Chillitos. Mine's not quite done wreaking havoc with my GI tract. So tasty. Mikey gets the MVP award on this trip for remembering that little gem.

I got back to my house, burned Buster a copy of Windows XP, and went to Ski Chalet to pick up my new skis. Now I'm sitting here, writing this entirely-too-long update which I'm too lazy to spell check, and which will no doubt be destroyed by Blogger as soon as I publish it. For what promises to be a much more interesting/well written account of the past three days, head on over to Mikey's blog. I'm sure he'll have it up there before too long.

That's all for now. Time to go wave a final goodbye to that Chillito.

Title of Post

Yes, I ripped that off from the lesser known Filter album, Title of Record.

Warren called yesterday. Ok, two days ago, technically. It was Friday. I was home from work, doing not much of anything, and he calls up to tell me that he was on top of some mountain, watching the snow and being way to excited about rocks, with N.W.A. lyrics stuck in his head. This, for whatever the reason, made him think of me. It was actually really cool that he called. Have't talked to the bugger in a while. I really need to get out there for a visit.

Michelle and I went to DC today. She wanted to do something for her birthday, which is this Wednesday. She's been itching to go to the spy museum, so we figured we'd give that a try. In my infinite wisdom, I did not buy tickets in advance, so that was a no-go. That's not totally true...I tried to get tickets in advance, but the website wasn't exactly conducive to that, so I gave up really easily and figured we'd be able to get in no problem, since it's cold out. Little did I realize, Veteran's day was a couple days ago, so a lot of people were in town. I parked at the lot next to the old PMO (no one will understand that but Mike) and we walked over to the museum, only to find out we couldn't get in. So, we walked down to Ford's theater, read some stuff about Lincoln at the museum there, hit up some lunch, and went home. Not exactly what we planned, but we enjoyed it. No "Foakleys" were purchased, unfortunately.

The guy at the Ford's Theater museum called it a "tragedy" that Lincoln was assasinated. I guess he considers the fact that he's employed "trajic." I'm not saying it doesn't suck that Lincoln was shot, but I certainly don't go around bemoaning the fact that people get arrested in this country. That's my bread and butter, baby.

Speaking of work, I can't describe in words how pleased I am that I'm only working 6 days in the next two weeks. I'm thankful for two days off at Thanksgiving, and Tech football. A contingent of us is headed down for the VT/MD game this Thursday night. No one has tickets, but we're not concerned about that. Oh yeah...If you're reading this, Chuck (which you most assuredly are NOT) I'm rather hoping that I can crash at your place Thursday and Friday night. Also, I'm addicted to that damn square game because of you. Ass.

It's late. That's all I got.

Believe it or not, I have opinions.

Hm. Haven't had a real update in a while. Well, it's Friday night, and I'm not doing anything, so here goes.

Seems like the past week or so has been pretty exciting in the world. That whole election thing. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that it's over with. I completely expected a drawn out legal battle to determine the president, lasting well into December like last time. Kudos to you, John Kerry, for knowing when to throw in the towel. And kudos to you, GW, for winning. I am quite content with that, unlike the people in the "blue states" and a good number of my friends.

I'm glad Bush won. I don't really feel the need to explain why...If you're really curious, ask, and maybe I'll write a political post one of these days. The thing about the election that is currently driving me crazy is all the whining. I realize it's easy to say that when my side won. But man...those democrats can be some whiny little bitches. You lost. You lost the electoral college, and you lost the popular vote. Get over it. Maybe in 2008, you can come up with a candidate who has a better message than "I'm not George W. Bush" and actually win. Hell, I'm not George W. Bush. The Dems should have just nominated me. I could have won...were I ten years older.

The "blue states" are devoting a lot of time to bashing "the system" and the "red states." I have a problem with that. First of all, you can't blame the system. The system WORKED. Last time, they all bitched about how Bush didn't win the popular vote, and how he "stole the election." I'm not going to get into any of the bullshit surrounding the 2000 election. I'm glad it turned out the way it did (seriously, can you imagine Al Gore being our president right now? Please.). But you don't have any room to complain about the system or democracy or any of that right now. Bush won both aspects of the vote (even though only the electoral college matters) so deal with it. Start working to find yourselves a direction as a party, or you'll just be bitching about the same shit in four years. Put up a fight, for Christ's sake. I also don't think they should be bashing the "red states." Saying anyone who doesn't live in a state that went for Kerry is an idiot or a religious nut or some such nonsense. The Dems seem awful quick to damn a large portion (majority, even) of the voters in this country just because they happen to not agree on every issue at hand. We're all in the same country here. Make fun of Canada...that's what they're there for.

Apparently, a good number of people in the exit polls said the most important part of the election to them was "moral issues." Now, let's bear in mind that these are the same exit polls that at several times during the night had Kerry winning the whole shebang. What I'm saying is...exit polls are bullshit. I'm actually upset I didn't get to participate in, because I didn't get to give any of the outlandish answers I'd come up with. Gay marriage seems to be a pretty major issue these days. Honestly, I'm not sure where I stand on the issue. I'd have to research it more, and frankly, since I'm not gay (believe it or not), I don't really feel the need to look into it right now. I wholeheartedly believe in the separation of church and state. I go to church, and believe some things (which I'm not going to get into here) but that's for me. Not for anybody else. There's no way my religious beliefs should be forced on anyone but me. Can gay people get married in other countries? Europe is always pretty quick to point out how backward they think America is (damn socialists), but do they let dudes marry dudes? I haven't heard word one about that on the news. I'm honestly curious. Ultimately, I think gay marriage is inevitable. It'll be as normal as hetero marriage eventually. Who knows when. Like I said, I'm still not sure how I feel. But the only reason I could see the government getting involved would be if there was some kind of monetary or tax implication. Bah...I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

Ok, so what have we all learned here tonight? First of all, people are a lot more likely to vote FOR something than AGAINST it. Keep that in mind for '08, you commie bastards (I keed, I keed). Second, it's time to stop whining and get on with our lives. And all you blue states, be nice to those red states. You have no idea how royally fucked you'd be without them. Third, exit polls are crap. I took a lot of statistics courses in college. It's all a crapshoot. Don't believe everything that you read, you'll get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve. Fourth, gay marriage will probably happen eventually. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Just keep the government out of my church and vice versa.

So I guess I'm pretty conservative, but you probably all knew that already. I just don't like high taxes, welfare, or having the government in my bid'ness.

Anyone but Hillary '08.