My Triumphant Return

Well, I finished class yesterday at noon and headed out to the airport, hoping to get on a plane before my scheduled 9:00 PM. Had to put gas in the crap-o-van...It took 10 gallons, which gave me a total mpg of 15.something. I was a little disappointed in that figure, as I was beating on it pretty hard and would have liked to be less efficient about it. After filling it up with 87 ($2.15 per gallon, OMGWTFBBQ???) I turned it in and went to the terminal. All the planes were full until 5:30. Being in the airport for 4 hours was a lot better than being there for 8, so I took a seat on the 5:30. Tried to get on the 2:15 and 4:05 on standby, but that didn't work out. The guy at the ticket counter looked like a really gay version of Matt Waite.

While I was waiting, I was sitting next to a guy who got bumped from the 2:15 on his way to South Carolina. He was very cordial about the whole thing, and the employees of Independence Air did their best to help him out. In the end, he was pleased with their solution, whatever it was. He got on the 4:05. The only reason I'm even bringing this up is because the guy was clearly from somewhere in the middle east....Pakistan, Jordan, something like that. That, by itself, is hardly interesting. The really weird thing was the way he talked. He had a Middle Eastern/South Carolina accent. Very strange. Nice guy, though.

I almost made it onto the 4:05 because some couple (from Texas, I think) was too busy yelling at their kids on the phone to hear them make the final boarding call. Then the gay Matt Waite (gay-ER Mat Waite?) paged them and they scurried onto the plane. Curses.

I finally boarded the plane at 5, and took my seat. I listened to the safety briefing...Something I neglected to mention from the first flight. Independence Air does "celebrity briefings," where they play a recording of some famous person or persons telling you how to buckle your seatbelt and not to bring your CD player with you when you crash. On the way there, it was Chuck Berry. On the way back, it was James Carvell and Mary Madeline. Carvell and Madeline had "a message for the right side of the plane, and a message for the left side of the plane," and made a whole big joke out of that. It was good, I guess. Nice to have a little something different when you fly. As soon as we were in the air, I put on one of the new Derek Howell sets I took from Mat right before leaving and went to sleep.

Michelle picked me up at the airport. I got her a Cinnabon, as promised. She was amazed that I remembered. Hard not to, when as soon as you walk off the "mobile lounge" at Dulles, the air is saturated with the smell of sweet cinnamon death. That place must make a killing.

So I'm back from the great Naperville adventure. I'm sure you're all thrilled. I know I am.

I just looked at my rental car receipt, and it says I drove over 4000 miles in the 4 days I had that van. Either someone can't read, or that van had a much more interesting time in Illinois than I did. And if it did go 4000 miles on 10 gallons of gas, I think I want it back.